Why We Avoid Phone Calls—and What We’re Missing Out On.
Isn’t there more value in personal interaction and hearing other people’s voices—I mean, really listening to what they are saying?
Remember the days when a ringing phone meant someone wanted to talk? Now, many of us let our phones go to voicemail, even when we see a call coming in. Are we harming ourselves by avoiding these conversations?
Picture this: your phone buzzes while you’re rushing to get the kids into the car or heading to an important meeting. In the chaos of life, it’s easy to let a call slip through the cracks, promising yourself to call back later. Days pass, and that return call gets forgotten amid a long list of tasks. Despite having the convenience of cell phones, many of us still hesitate to make that call.
The Digital Overload
One reason for our reluctance might be the overwhelming noise of the digital world. From work to leisure, we are bombarded by a constant stream of content. We are confronted by news content that is updated by the second. The digital world never sleeps so we never get respite. We can never be ahead of the game with platforms like YouTube adding 500 hours of new videos every minute and TikTok delivering millions of daily clips; it feels impossible to keep up. This unrelenting flood of information can leave us feeling drained and unfulfilled, often distracting us from connecting with those closest to us. The amount of ‘unproductive’ time that we spend online is eating into the available free time we do have left in a day.
Texting Has Taken Precedence
Another major factor is the rise of texting. Sending a quick message feels easier; it allows us to communicate at our convenience without worrying about the other person's availability. Texting is quieter, keeps conversations private, and lets us avoid the immediate emotional responses a phone call requires. However, this reliance on text can also be an avoidance tactic. Phone calls demand our time and attention, making multitasking nearly impossible. They require active listening and can make us feel more vulnerable.
Shifting Preferences
A recent YouGov study (1) in 17 countries highlighted this shift in communication preferences:
40% of respondents identified messaging as their primary means of communication.
Only 8% preferred in-person contact with friends and family.
Among those aged 18 to 24, 49% preferred texting, while just 19% chose phone calls.
These numbers raise an important question: Are we losing touch with the value of voice conversations?
The Power of Voice
Studies (2) have shown that oxytocin, ‘the social connection/love hormone’ is released on a phone call. However, this is not the case when sending text messages and, in fact, is more likely to raise cortisol levels, reflective of a stress response.
In a world dominated by screens, is it possible that we are overlooking the richness of voice interactions? Phone calls communicate emotions—hesitation, joy, sadness, humour, sarcasm—in ways that texts simply cannot. A conversation can lead to deeper connections, valuable information exchanges, and even future meet-ups.
A study (3) published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology suggests that non-verbal forms of communication do not create the same depth of social connection. Co-author Amit Kumar notes that people feel significantly more connected through voice media but that they are fearful of awkwardness, which pushes them toward texting. Interestingly, while participants reported anxiety about making calls, they reported feeling a greater sense of connection during conversations than was achieved through written messages.
The fear of awkwardness that we have developed is influencing our behaviour, but it does not serve us. Think of it like the struggle of getting off the couch to go for a run; once you take that step, you often feel much better afterward. When we assess our options, we tend to weigh the costs and benefits. Many of us shy away from calling because the potential obstacles seem to outweigh the simplicity of sending a text or email. Yet, perhaps we need to remind ourselves about the real value of those voice conversations.
A Call to Action
The next time your phone buzzes, consider picking it up to call someone instead of shooting off a text. You might find that the human connection fostered through voice is worth the effort. After all, those conversations can help strengthen relationships and even boost your mood.
So, let’s challenge ourselves: make a phone call today. You may be pleasantly surprised by what you’ve been missing.
#balanceyourscreens, #bringbackthehumantouch, #socialconnection,
1. 200+ Social Media Statistics and Facts for 2024 [Internet]. [cited 2024 Oct 22]. Available from: https://www.socialpilot.co/blog/social-media-statistics
2. Seltzer LJ, Prososki AR, Ziegler TE, Pollak SD. Instant messages vs. speech: hormones and why we still need to hear each other. Evol Hum Behav [Internet]. 2012 Jan [cited 2024 Oct 22];33(1):42. Available from: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3277914/
3. Kumar A, Epley N. It’s surprisingly nice to hear you: Misunderstanding the impact of communication media can lead to suboptimal choices of how to connect with others. J Exp Psychol Gen. 2020;150(3):595–607.
Image courtesy of Freepix.
