Community’s End, Humanity’s End: Why We Must Reconnect
Reawakening the Village:
The Importance of Real,
In-Person Connections
Community isn’t just limited to the local area we’re familiar with—it extends far beyond geographical borders and plays an essential role on a much larger scale. People come together with a shared desire to connect over something meaningful. When there’s a common purpose, it creates deep and lasting connections. Think about friendships—they’re often built around shared experiences. Whether it’s going to school together, studying side by side, working together, playing sports together, or bonding over a common interest or hobby, those shared moments form the foundation of connection. Maybe you love the same music and attend concerts together, hit the gym as workout partners, or even have children of the same age, experiencing similar milestones.
This shared common ground is the strength of a community. Those who engage are united in their intent to create a supportive and actionable environment through human contact. With this shared goal, forming deeper bonds becomes a natural outcome, as individuals collaborate to create a stronger, more connected community —whether it’s improving the local area, advocating for a cause, or supporting one another in some way. While it may be idealistic to expect to become friends with everyone in your community, getting involved allows you to find like-minded individuals. Within any community, sub-groups naturally form as people gravitate toward one another, building genuine and lasting connections. Anyone can participate and contribute to the community. Priya Parker, an expert on gatherings, explains that everyone has the potential to foster meaningful connections, and that introverts, despite social anxiety, can often be the ‘best’1 at bringing people together.
…regardless of the extent of your contribution. Just being there matters
When you’re actively involved in something, you develop a deeper passion for the activity and become more committed. As Dr. Richard Ryan notes, “Being accountable to others is a powerful motivator. It drives people to push themselves harder than they might on their own.”2 Others rely on you showing up, regardless of the extent of your contribution. Just being there matters, and this interdependence enhances your morale, making you feel needed and valued. Sebastian Junger underscores this, reminding us that “humans can only truly flourish when they are needed by others.”3
There is growing recognition of 'social health,' which refers to the well-being we derive from meaningful human connections. Without this, our health can deteriorate, as isolation significantly raises the risk of early mortality. Social isolation is considered just as harmful to health as smoking and obesity, and it can also compromise the immune system. Additionally, volunteering has been shown in various studies to improve overall well-being. As George Vaillant, a psychiatrist involved in the Harvard Study that tracked 265 students since 1983, famously said, 'The key to healthy aging is relationships, relationships, relationships.’
…As social beings, these collaborative environments are where we thrive. Just as our ancestors worked together in tribes for survival, cooperation remains fundamental to who we are.
Helping others is a two-way street—it provides us with immense returns. As social beings, these collaborative environments are where we thrive. Just as our ancestors worked together in tribes for survival, cooperation remains fundamental to who we are. Evolutionarily, the most cooperative groups succeeded over others, favouring partners who worked well together. This collaborative nature is hardwired into our DNA. As Stephen Braren, Ph.D., explains, “We evolved big brains in order to connect,”4 enabling us to navigate the complexities of interacting in large communities. Humans are unique in our capacity for complex social structures, cooperation, and the ability to care for others, even at personal cost. This has been pivotal for our survival as a species. We need a ‘group of people who will support, love, and protect’ us. Without this, we are “left to struggle alone in the world, often unable to find meaning or purpose.”5 Studies show that prolonged social isolation leads to a craving for contact similar to the physical need for food after being starved.6
Given how critical community is to our well-being, one might ask: what happened to our ‘village’? Have we put our species at risk by ignoring our need for connection? The rise of technology has made it easier to accomplish tasks without direct human interaction. Appliances like washing machines, microwaves, and cars have simplified daily chores, removing the need to rely on others. In the past, simple tasks were opportunities to help one another and to bond. Think of washing clothes as an example. Once upon a time you had to collect water, sit at the river bank, wring wet clothes out and hang up clothes to dry. These would all have been opportunities to help one another and to chat with each other. Now machines devoid of emotion take the burden. We have freed up so much more time for ourselves and yet we spend it often staring at screens. Many have moved away from the towns or countries they grew up in, losing close connections with family and local communities. Online communities offer some connection, but meeting new people and forming meaningful bonds has become harder.
…what happened to our ‘village’?
When considering community, it's important to recognize the deep connection between friendship and belonging. These two are deeply intertwined. In the book We Need to Hang Out: A Memoir About Friendship, Billy Baker describes friendship as “a magic.”7 This chemistry drives us to invest time and effort into these relationships. Similarly, for a community to thrive, it must also foster this “magic” of connection. When a community cultivates strong, genuine relationships, people will be more inclined to get involved and support one another.In this way, a true sense of community is built upon the foundation of friendship, where shared effort, mutual support, and meaningful bonds come together to create something special. But to make this happen, we need to be open to it. Connections must be nurtured, and they require time and attention. This is where community plays a key role—it provides the environment in which friendships can be forged and nurtured. Without a place to gather and connect, these important bonds are hard to form. A community, therefore, acts as the venue where friendships blossom, and from that, a sense of belonging and support grows.
…for a community to thrive, it must also foster this “magic” of connection.
Photo by Yeshi Kangrang on Unsplash
People are only likely to commit to a community when it offers reciprocity—support, empathy, and friendship. The value of community lies in the relationships that extend beyond family. These connections can grow into powerful, lasting bonds. While it may feel like an effort to dedicate time to community engagement, the motivation comes from human interaction, shared goals, laughter, and the friendships that develop over time. Communities create networks that allow individuals to meet new people, form friendships, and grow outside of existing social circles. As we progress through different life stages, communities offer opportunities for growth—new experiences, learning new skills, meeting new people, and helping others. They also serve as environments where old friendships can be revived and where old and new friends can be brought together.
…The value of community lies in the relationships that extend beyond family.
Image by Freestocks.orgIn a thriving community, people support each other, exchange favours, and collaborate—what could this be but friendship? Communities consist of different types of friendships, each varying in depth, much like the connections within a broader network. The relationships forged within a community enhance both personal well-being and professional opportunities. Mutual support within these spaces can lead to great opportunities that might not have been available otherwise. Kurt Vonnegut, a strong advocate for the importance of community, believed it essential for individual development and societal survival. He emphasized that our responsibilities extend beyond individual actions; they require collective effort. In a world filled with distractions, technology, and the pursuit of fleeting goals, Vonnegut reminds us that the most enduring and important things, are the communities we build and the relationships we nurture. He once said, “Human beings will be happier—not when they cure cancer or get to Mars or eliminate racial prejudice or flush Lake Erie—but when they find ways to inhabit primitive communities again. That’s my utopia.”8
Being part of a community offers many benefits—it’s embedded in our DNA, crucial for our mental and emotional well-being, and provides friendships and support. It enables us to contribute to a shared purpose, do good in the world, and open up professional opportunities. Yet, despite these advantages, many remain disconnected from their local communities. Why? As mentioned, the convenience of technology has reduced the need for direct human interaction, and in this connected world, humans are less connected than ever. As Billy Baker warns, “Every time something new moves online and stops happening face-to-face, we deplete the world’s supply of social capital.”9 It's fascinating that while we can excel at communicating within our own communities, we can easily lose empathy and compassion for those outside our circle, especially when we feel threatened. A true community should bring people together, not divide them. This highlights the importance of being more accepting of others, regardless of differing views, to lead a happy and fulfilling life. Embracing diversity and fostering understanding across communities is essential for maintaining harmony and well-being. We need to be more tolerant of differing opinions and view them as opportunities to learn.
…in this connected world, humans seem less connected than ever.
In large cities, isolation is increasingly common, and many of us are swayed by individualism, focusing on ourselves rather than others. This shift may be contributing to rising mental health issues, as we have too much time to dwell on our own perceived deficits. It would be healthier to focus on helping others, working toward common goals, and connecting with our communities. While many people now work remotely, there has been a rise in “co-working” spaces, as employees realise that home office isn’t always that much fun. Perhaps it’s because we feel too busy with work, family, and other obligations. But are we truly busy? Or do we allow our time to be consumed by the accessibility and convenience that technology and digitalisation provides? Is this really making us happy or giving our lives meaning?
…But are we truly busy? Or do we allow our time to be consumed by the accessibility and convenience that technology and digitalisation provides?
We may think we’re self-sufficient and independent, but our ancestors would have struggled to survive alone. As Billy Baker puts it, "Being a solo survivalist is arduous and inefficient."10 Survival has always been a group effort, and village-like structures grew from the need for connection, safety, and cooperation. While such "villages" are no longer essential, they remain socially necessary. Baker also notes the "profound mutual benefit" and "profound joy" found in collective efforts. Many adults have forgotten how rewarding real, in-person contact can be. We need to remind ourselves how fulfilling it is to meet new people and engage in activities outside of work and family. A community offers us an alternative—a place to escape life's struggles and where we CAN make a meaningful impact.
…the "profound mutual benefit" and "profound joy" found in collective efforts.
Image by thearkoftestamentofgod from PixabayMen, in particular, may struggle with socialising, having historically been less involved in the community due to gender norms that prioritise strength, self-sufficiency, and dominance. Yet, men need connections too and should be encouraged to break free from these stereotypes. Connections are vital for both men and women. More can be read on this here.
So, what can we do?
Community evolved from our need to survive, and it’s essential that we continue to recognise its importance. We will not thrive as a species if we neglect this need. To rebuild this sense of community, we must rekindle our collective passion for helping others and work together to strengthen the bonds that unite us. It would be amazing if it became the norm again to receive help and reciprocate favours, not out of obligation, but out of belonging and genuine connection.
We need to remind ourselves of the joy that comes from trying something new, meeting new people, and opening doors to fresh opportunities. It's also important to consider the example we set for younger generations. Even if it's not for our own benefit, we should strive to create a community that nurtures youth, provides them with opportunities, promotes equality, widens their horizons and encourages them to explore the world.
For a community to thrive, its purpose must be clear so that everyone involved knows what they’re committing to. When we align ourselves with it’s mission, we find the passion that keeps us coming back—and that passion will attract others who share the same values. Communities require regular participation and a commitment to their cause. We need to find “our” people within the community and spend quality time with them. Without this commitment, both communities and friendships can unravel.
…Community evolved from our need to survive, and it’s essential that we continue to recognize its importance. We will not thrive as a species if we neglect this need.
The need for community isn’t just about longing for the past—it’s something that’s essential for us now and in the future. The connections we make with others can shape our lives and make a real difference in the world. In today’s world, where we’re often stuck behind screens and focusing more on ourselves, we need to remember that the real power comes from human connection—sharing experiences, supporting each other, and working together toward something bigger.
We’ve got to get back to actively connecting with people around us, to build spaces where relationships can grow, friendships can form, and everyone feels like they belong. It might feel a little daunting, but the benefits are huge—better health, deeper connections, and a sense of purpose that goes beyond the daily grind. Just like our ancestors knew, we need each other to thrive, and it’s time we brought that mindset back into our communities.
…The question isn’t “Why should we reconnect?”—it’s “How do we start?”
The answer is simple: by showing up, reaching out, and supporting the people around us. Rebuilding our communities starts with us, and it’s about time we took that step. After all, when we come together, we’re not just improving our own lives—we’re creating something better for everyone.As Winston Churchill said, “Everyone, however lowly his station or simple his gifts, can be a rock for others to cling to.”11 Each of us has the capacity to help others, strengthening the community.
References1Parker, P., 2018. The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters. 1st ed. New York: Penguin Press.2Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68–78. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.55.1.683Junger, S. (2016). Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging. New York: Twelve.4https://www.thesocialcreatures.org/thecreaturetimes/evolution-of-social-connection5Junger, S., 2016. Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging. New York: Twelve.6Cacioppo, J. T., & Patrick, W. (2008). Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection. W.W. Norton & Company.7Baker, B. (2021). We Need to Hang Out: A Memoir of Making Friends. New York: HarperCollins.8https://genius.com/Kurt-vonnegut-commencement-address-at-rice-university-annotated9Baker, B. (2021). We Need to Hang Out: A Memoir of Making Friends. New York: HarperCollins.10Baker, B. (2021). We Need to Hang Out: A Memoir of Making Friends. New York: HarperCollins.11https://winstonchurchill.hillsdale.edu/churchill-life-essay/