Humanising the Future: A Balanced Approach to Masculinity and Gender Equality
An after thought on Adolescence ...
Next month at The Informed Perspective, we’ll be focusing on the theme of DISCOVERY & EXPLORATION. Over the past few days, I’ve been reflecting on where this focus might take us, and, like many others, I found myself drawn to Netflix’s Adolescence, which has sparked so many conversations this week.
While I found it disturbing, I have to admit, it didn’t leave me in tears.Behind the scenes, we’ve been discussing many of these issues for quite some time and this debate is not unexpected. The growing disconnect between parents and tweens/teens, the breakdown of the family unit, the increased division between rich and poor, the diminishing intergenerational bonds between grandparents and younger generations, the loss of values and the increasing challenge of managing the digital world. We’ve also been talking about the unfair responsibility placed on parents to be the enforcers of smartphone use, the lack of preparation many of us have in navigating the digital age, and the rapid changes AI is bringing.
It feels like there’s no longer any excitement for real life
There’s also the ongoing decline in respect for elders, which I noticed starting even in my own youth. A recent study by PEGS (Parental Education Growth Support) found that during school holidays 100% of parents reported being verbally abused by their children, and 8 out of 10 admitted to experiencing emotional abuse.1 And then there is the media’s obsession with body image, materialism, and wealth. It feels like there’s no longer any excitement for real life, as we struggle to compete with the constant dopamine hits from the online world—short video bursts, likes, and comments—that have deeply impacted our attention spans and diminished our ability to persevere through difficult tasks and challenges. There's less motivation to leave the comfort of our homes, which means we're not surrounded by the physical presence of others who could offer support beyond the walls of school, work, or home. These long-standing issues are continuing to shape our society, and they’re becoming more urgent with each passing day. As I have mentioned before, the void left by the absence of church or religion has simply been filled with screens and reduced funding and generosity for youth programmes. And as a result mental health is suffering.
We ought to cherish the differences too.
When it comes to masculinity, it's important that we don't try to suppress or forcefully challenge it in boys. Instead, we should begin having open conversations about gender from an early age, with ongoing discussions that encourage listening rather than simply preaching. As children grow, we need to address sexuality in an age-appropriate way, emphasizing the humanity of others and reinforcing values of respect and empathy. Ultimately, we must teach the importance of seeing the person in front of us as a fellow human being, deserving of the same respect and dignity we all seek.
Being a boy can be so much fun and must not be forgotten! Last weekend, my 6-year-old was invited to a birthday party in the woods, and the theme was survival. He absolutely loved it! Among other activities, the kids got to start fires and throw knives at trees. It was wild, raw, and just his style. He’s always wanted to be an action character/ninja/warrior, and the idea of surviving in the woods and fighting wild animals was right up his alley. When the facilitator asked who wanted to throw knives, it was mostly the boys who joined in, although a few girls did participate too. But let’s be honest—there are differences between men and women, and thank goodness for that. Of course, there will always be exceptions, and that’s where character comes in. We shouldn’t be confined to boxes, but at the same time, we should be free to express ourselves in ways that feel true to who we are. We ought to cherish the differences too.
There’s room for everyone—men and women alike—and it shouldn’t have to be a choice between losing one’s identity as a man or reinforcing the positive aspects of masculinity.
Personally, I’ve always been drawn to masculine men—tall, with deep voices, strong, and someone I feel protected by. What’s wrong with that? Boys (and men) need to realise that there’s nothing wrong with embracing masculinity, just as much as there’s no shame in admitting when they don’t feel comfortable being confined to traditional expectations of it. It’s about finding the balance and embracing who they truly are, without fear of judgment. As a society, we can celebrate masculinity while also teaching boys about gender equality and respect for others. There’s room for everyone—men and women alike—and it shouldn’t have to be a choice between losing one’s identity as a man or reinforcing the positive aspects of masculinity. There are difficult conversations to navigate, and achieving this will require time, effort, and collaboration. A key example of this is pornography. We want our adolescents to have access to accurate information about sex as they mature, but the question is: in what form? As they inevitably seek out this information, we must ensure they are well-informed. How can we regulate access to this content, providing healthy and constructive material to help normalise open conversations?
I also believe there’s a need for spaces where boys and men can come together, just as there should be for girls and women. This doesn’t mean widening the gap between the sexes, but rather allowing each group to express themselves in their own way and discuss gender-specific issues. There is a place for Boy Cubs and Scouts, Brownies and Guides. Places like Men’s Sheds also offer men (and now also women) a place to connect. At the same time, we must create environments that include both sexes and actively nurture gender equality. It’s about balance—giving each gender the space to be themselves while fostering mutual understanding and respect. We just need to give them the platforms to do this.
Having explored my thoughts, I would suggest that we need to find ways to highlight the wonderful things men bring to the table, to address issues that are problematic and encourage the development of positive masculinity that humanises rather than demasculinises. This is exactly the same for females. We need to bridge the distance, not drift further apart; after all, we need each other. Let’s celebrate our differences and embrace what we have in common. We need mentors to support this change, both male and female, and this will require an active community—which we can all be a part of.
Photo by Ron Lach : https://www.pexels.com/photo/group-of-teenagers-walking-together-10484503/
Images by Freepix unless stated otherwise.
References
1 https://irp.cdn-website.com/fa6ebd65/files/uploaded/Child%20to%20Parent%20Abuse%20The%20impact%20during%20school%20holidays.pdf
