Why Men Also Need a Community!
When we think of community engagement, women often come to mind as being more active. However, research shows that men benefit just as much as women from social interaction and belonging to a community.¹
Men, more than women, tend to avoid seeking support for mental health struggles. A cultural “macho” stereotype perpetuates the expectation that men should be strong, independent, and capable. Emotions like empathy are often considered "feminine traits," leading men to suppress them. Consequently, many men find it difficult to connect authentically with others, as asking for help contradicts the societal image of what it means to be a man. This pressure can be deadly: In England and Wales, men were three times more likely than women to commit suicide in 2022,² and globally, men commit suicide at twice the rate of women.³ In 2021 men accounted for 75% of suicides in the US and in the UK.⁴ Most of these suicides occur in men’s late forties, a time when additional support might be most necessary.⁵,⁶,⁷ As one man in a research study put it the reason why men die of suicide, “ is they’re lonely and they have no contact with anybody, and that’s the main reason.”⁸ This tragic statistic highlights the immense pressure placed on men to suppress their emotions and not seek help, ultimately leading to catastrophic consequences.
…globally, men commit suicide at twice the rate of women.
Research shows that men tend to have smaller social circles than women, making it harder for them to seek support. They are also more reluctant to ask for help,⁹,¹⁰ and admit they often don’t know who to turn to in hard times. ¹¹ Many men rely primarily on their romantic partners for emotional connection, which can become problematic if the relationship is unstable or if their partner passes away. This reliance on a single outlet increases the risk of mental health issues, especially as societal expectations discourage men from opening up to others. The increased participation of women in many different industries of the workforce can exacerbate this, with some men experiencing imposter syndrome, deepening their sense of isolation.
¹²A graph showing the number of men with no friends is on the increase and the size of social circles is shrinking.
It might not be obvious, but men, too, suffer from postnatal depression.¹³ Studies show that 25% of first-time fathers suffer depressive symptoms, with 10-12% diagnosed with depression.
Isolation often leads to questioning self-worth, and studies suggest that engaging in collective activities and having a sense of purpose can reduce negative self-reflection.This is a time when many men experience major life transitions, such as children leaving home, partners re-engaging in their careers, middle-life crises and the onset of aging. The rise in individualism and the decline of male-dominated industries, combined with these pressures, are leading to greater loneliness and mental health issues for men. Retirement can be a particularly challenging chapter for men, often resulting in more psychological stress compared to women. ¹⁴ Women typically have stronger social networks prior to retirement, which can help buffer against feelings of isolation and loss of identity.
…In 2021 men accounted for 75% of suicides in the US and in the UK.
To ease this transition, measures such as "bridge retirement"—where individuals gradually reduce their working hours—could help ease people into retirement at a more manageable pace. With longer life expectancies, maintaining a role or working part-time may provide a valuable sense of purpose and structure. ¹⁵
Additionally, engaging in voluntary social work or community-based activities can greatly benefit mental health. These opportunities not only provide meaningful engagement but also foster a sense of belonging, which is crucial during the transition into retirement.
Measures such as promoting bridge retirement, where people can reduce their working hours to a more flexible schedule, might enable a more gradual introduction into retirement. With longer life expectancies there is potentially benefit in working for longer in some capacity to maintain an important sense of purpose. Voluntary social work could also be a way of improving people’s mental health.
A study of 46,054 men across 237 countries revealed that men are lonelier than women and are less likely to admit it.¹⁶ And the actual numbers of lonely men are likely much higher than documented. ¹⁷ Loneliness, often linked to an absence of belonging,¹⁸ is especially concerning given that men’s social roles have traditionally been tied to employment. Today, remote work and automation in industries like agriculture, construction, and manufacturing further limit opportunities for in-person connections. This has led to rising unemployment rates, which may increase with the rise of AI. The competitive nature of many workplaces can also hinder the formation of meaningful relationships.
Studies show that men often socialize with other men around activities like sports, and with women on a more emotional level, ¹⁹ but they tend to avoid personal disclosure in favour of maintaining their image. Men often cooperate best in group dynamics that unite them against external threats, which reinforces masculine traits. ²⁰ This may explain why they struggle to form open, authentic relationships. One Reddit user highlights that, for many men, "the biggest problem is other men."²¹ Men shy away from sharing true feelings with each other, fearing being teased or appearing "too feminine." For men who don’t fit traditional masculine pursuits, this can feel even more isolating. As one Reddit user states, "There are so many 'rules' of being a man that box us in."²²
“There are so many 'rules' of being a man that box us in."²³
This compartmentalization continues to hinder men from forming deep, lasting connections. Men generally have fewer friends than women, and many lack a "best friend.”²⁴,²⁵ which has significant implications for their health and well-being.²⁶ When men experience major life changes—such as health diagnoses or loss—and reach out for support, they often find value in the openness and close relationships that develop, carrying these connections throughout their lives.²⁷
To address these issues, there needs to be greater emphasis on educating and normalizing the diversity within masculinity. This could help open the conversation for men to be more in touch with their emotions and feel comfortable expressing them. Communities must create more opportunities for men to connect and form friendships, including but not limited to male-only spaces that encourage open communication. Initiatives like barber shop meet-ups, men’s sheds, male-only yoga classes, networking events, retreats, and health workshops can provide crucial spaces for men to engage with their communities.
…Social connectedness is a fundamental human need, rooted in our tribe psychology.
Figure 1. More is now being done to publicise men’s mental health with the intention of breaking down dated stereotypes as shown in Figure 1 by organisation such as Movember, ²⁸Beyond Equality,²⁹ Men’s Circle,³⁰ and Mens Shed.³¹
Since the end of the pandemic, the number of young males aged 16 to 24 in the UK who are not in education, training, or employment has increased by 40%, compared to just 7% of women in the same age group.³² Additionally, women are now out-earning their male colleagues in many cases, reinforcing the assumption that gender equality has caused a new workplace imbalance. In fact, nearly half of Britons and 40% of Americans believe women's equality has gone too far, with many men feeling discriminated against.³³,³⁴
The recent Lost Boys Study from the Center for Social Justice in the UK underscores the growing concern for young men today.³⁵ The study reveals that young men, particularly those without stable career prospects, are at risk of being left behind. Both genders must recognize each other as equals to foster lasting gender balance in the workplace and society. Achieving true equality will undoubtedly be an ongoing challenge.
…with one in five children in Britain growing up without a father figure, it becomes increasingly difficult for them to envision their own futures.
Furthermore, if young men cannot see positive role models of older men successfully fitting into and thriving in society, with one in five children in Britain growing up without a father figure,³⁶ it becomes increasingly difficult for them to envision their own futures. The lack of male role models who demonstrate how to navigate challenges, embrace equality, and find fulfillment in their personal and professional lives can contribute to feelings of uncertainty and isolation. Without clear examples, young men may struggle to imagine where they fit within today’s evolving world.
Social connectedness is a fundamental human need, rooted in our tribe psychology. We all need to feel needed and purposeful, and when we are socially isolated,³⁷ we become more susceptible to stress and mental health challenges. Times of transition—such as unemployment, retirement, or other life-changing events—are particularly critical for men, as they may need additional support during these periods.
By reimagining positive roles for men in the community and providing them with more avenues for connection, men can find both purpose and mental well-being.
References
¹ https://www.chi.ac.uk/news/men-high-risk-social-isolation-can-boost-their-mental-health-engaging- their-community-suggests-new-study
² https://www.statista.com/statistics/289102/suicide-rate-in-the-united-kingdom-uk-by-age/³ Weaver, D., Nicole et al.,Global, regional, and national burden of suicide, 1990–2021: a systematic analysis for the Global Burden of Disease Study 2021, The Lancet Public Health⁴https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/deaths/bulletins/suicidesintheunitedkingdom/2021registrations⁵https://www.healio.com/news/primary-care/20250220/despite-falling-global-rates-in-recent-decades-men-twice-as-likely-to-die-by-suicide⁶https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpub/article/PIIS2468-2667(25)00006-4/fulltext⁷ https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/men-and-mental-health-stats.html#menandsuicide⁸King, K., Dow, B. Keogh, L., et al. “Is Life Worth Living?”: The Role of Masculinity in the Way Men Aged Over 80 Talk About Living, Dying, and Suicide. American Journal of Men’s Health. 2020;14(5). doi:10.1177/1557988320966540⁹ McKenzie SK, Oliffe JL, Black A, Collings S. Men's Experiences of Mental Illness Stigma Across the Lifespan: A Scoping Review. Am J Mens Health. 2022 Jan-Feb;16(1):15579883221074789. doi: 10.1177/15579883221074789. PMID: 35125015; PMCID: PMC8832600.¹⁰ https://www.mensmindsmatter.org/men-and-help-seeking/ ¹¹ https://www.samaritans.org/news/men-in-rural-communities-least-likely-to-seek-support-when- struggling-to-cope/ ¹² https://www.americansurveycenter.org/why-mens-social-circles-are-shrinking/¹³ https://www.nct.org.uk/information/life-parent/wellbeing-mental-health/postnatal-depression-dads-and-co-parents-10-things-you-should-know ¹⁴ Noh JW, Kwon YD, Lee LJ, Oh IH, Kim J. Gender differences in the impact of retirement on depressive symptoms among middle-aged and older adults: A propensity score matching approach. PLoS One. 2019 Mar 4;14(3):e0212607. doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0212607. PMID: 30830916; PMCID: PMC6398854.¹⁵ Shin, O. et al. (2024) ‘Retirement Transition Sequences and Well-Being Among Older Workers Focusing on Gender Differences’, Journal of Gerontological Social Work, pp. 1–31. doi: 10.1080/01634372.2024.2413880. ¹⁶ Manuela Barreto, Christina Victor, Claudia Hammond, Alice Eccles, Matt T. Richins, Pamela Qualter, Loneliness around the world: Age, gender, and cultural differences in loneliness,Personality and Individual Differences, Volume 169, 2021¹⁷ Manuela Barreto, Christina Victor, Claudia Hammond, Alice Eccles, Matt T. Richins, Pamela Qualter, Loneliness around the world: Age, gender, and cultural differences in loneliness,Personality and Individual Differences, Volume 169, 2021 ¹⁸ Franklin, A., Barbosa Neves, B., Hookway, N., Patulny, R., Tranter, B., & Jaworski, K. (2019). Towards an understanding of loneliness among Australian men: Gender cultures, embodied expression and the social bases of belonging. Journal of Sociology, 55(1), 124-143. https://doi.org/10.1177/1440783318777309 ¹⁹ McKenzie SK, Collings S, Jenkin G, River J. Masculinity, Social Connectedness, and Mental Health: Men’s Diverse Patterns of Practice. American Journal of Men’s Health. 2018;12(5):1247-1261. doi:10.1177/1557988318772732²⁰ Vugt, M. V., Cremer, D. D., & Janssen, D. P. (2007). Gender Differences in Cooperation and Competition: The Male-Warrior Hypothesis. Psychological Science, 18(1), 19-23. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2007.01842.x²¹https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/1cnh6fx/what_is_actually_needed_for_men_to_have_a/?rdt=41815 ²²https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/1cnh6fx/what_is_actually_needed_for_men_to_have_a/?rdt=41815²³https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/1cnh6fx/what_is_actually_needed_for_men_to_have_a/?rdt=41815²⁴ King K, Dow B, Keogh L, et al. “Is Life Worth Living?”: The Role of Masculinity in the Way Men Aged Over 80 Talk About Living, Dying, and Suicide. American Journal of Men’s Health. 2020;14(5). doi:10.1177/1557988320966540²⁵ Pearce, E., Wlodarski, R., Machin, A., & Dunbar, R. I. (2019). Exploring the links between dispositions, romantic relationships, support networks and community inclusion in men and women. PLoS ONE, 14(5), e0216210. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0216210²⁶Social network investment of men: Cross-sectional and longitudinal associations with mental health problems, Kayla Mansour, Christopher J. Greenwood, Lauren M. Francis, Imogene Smith, Craig A. Olsson, Jacqui A. Macdonald, First published: 28 July 2023 https://doi.org/10.1111/aphw.12475²⁷ McKenzie SK, Collings S, Jenkin G, River J. Masculinity, Social Connectedness, and Mental Health: Men’s Diverse Patterns of Practice. American Journal of Men’s Health. 2018;12(5):1247-1261. doi:10.1177/1557988318772732 ²⁸https://us.movember.com/mens-health/mental-health²⁹ https://www.beyondequality.org/ ³⁰https://www.menscircle.club/³¹www.mensshed.org ³²https://www.centreforsocialjustice.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/CSJ-The_Lost_Boys.pdf³³https://www.kcl.ac.uk/news/nearly-half-of-britons-say-womens-equality-has-gone-far-enough ³⁴https://www.kcl.ac.uk/giwl/research/global-attitudes-towards-gender-equality ³⁵ https://www.centreforsocialjustice.org.uk/library/lost-boys ³⁶https://www.centreforsocialjustice.org.uk/library/lost-boys³⁷Ziggi Ivan Santini, Paul E Jose, Erin York Cornwell, Ai Koyanagi, Line Nielsen, Carsten Hinrichsen, Charlotte Meilstrup, Katrine R Madsen, Vibeke Koushede, Social disconnectedness, perceived isolation, and symptoms of depression and anxiety among older Americans (NSHAP): a longitudinal mediation analysis, The Lancet Public Health, Volume 5, Issue 1,2020